Dean Del Mastro is a f*cking moron – by HabsFan29

Greetings, interwebz! It is I, anonymous internet blogger and commentor HabsFan29. My good friend Allen Mendelsohn has turned over the blog to me for just this one time, so that I may opine gracefully and eloquently on the wisdom of forcing people to comment on the internet using their real names, as Conservative MP Dean Del Mastro wants. Thanks, Allen! Anyway, here’s what I think. Fuck Dean Del Mastro, that useless ignorant piece of crap election-frauding fat fucking dipshit.

Oooh, that felt good! Just like old times. Let’s take a step back here for a second. I am sure Allen would want me to intelligently explain what the fuck is going on here. Last Friday, Deal Del Mastro, who in addition to being an MP is in fact Parliamentary Secretary for PM Stephen Harper, wrote what I guess he thought was an innocuous little post on his Facebook wall. Instead, it opened up a shitstorm. Let’s reproduce the whole thing here, for posterity:

One of the best ways to end on-line and electronic bullying, libel and slander would be to force people posting hurtful comments to properly identify themselves. This morning I read comments on a news story posted on an electronic news publication, many of them could only be described as hateful rants. The common denominator is that none of them identified the person that wrote them; this strikes me as something that parliament should address.

I bolded that last part because Allen would have wanted me to; it’s what turned a semi-reasonable discussion about online discourse into idiocy. We have a Conservative (small government, yay!) MP saying we should legislate against anonymity on the internet. Fuck that shit. If I want to be known as HabsFan29 when I describe Mr. Del Mastro and indeed the entire Conservative government as pathetic lamefuck corporate whore dickwads, I should be allowed to do so.

OK let’s look at the statement one fucked-up line at a time:

One of the best ways to end on-line and electronic bullying

Online bullying is terrible. I am not immune to the horrible tragedy of Amanda Todd. But if an MP thinks that forcing people to use their real names would have stopped that tragedy, he’s got a fucking screw loose. Also, there are already efforts in Parliament to do something about online bullying. But as usual, a Conservative has his own approach – throw a king-sized blanket over a pin-prick hole. Sound familiar? Vic Toews would like you to forget that type of approach.

libel and slander

Libel and slander are problematic on the internet. So are a lot of other things, both criminal activities and things that could be subject to civil actions. But guess what? Even if you do those things anonymously, you’re not anonymous. You can be tracked down. How many times has Allen written on this very site about the Courts saying it was OK for ISPs to turn an IP address into a real person? Shit, he just wrote one a couple of weeks ago! If the cops want to arrest someone, if you want to sue someone, you’ll have a pretty easy time of finding out who the “anonymous” person is. Courts all over the world are already killing internet anonymity, when the circumstances warrant. To throw out the baby with the bathwater is fucking stupid.

many of them could only be described as hateful rants. The common denominator is that none of them identified the person that wrote them

Fuck and yes! That’s the whole point of the internet, you useless fuckstick. There is a real point to internet anonymity – it allows for full freedom of expression. Let’s say (for example) that a well-respected lawyer wanted to blog about the Montreal Canadiens, using salty language about how the Habs fucking suck and glorious photos of half-naked women. He may need to hide that from his well-respected law firm employer. I’m just saying. Let’s say that a long-standing employee of the Department of Justice wants to go on the Globe and Mail website and rant in the comments about the stupidity of Bill C-30. If he wrote it under his real name, would he be in trouble? Yes! Anonymity allows for the true exchange of ideas. That’s what the internet is for.

Yours truly wanted to be anonymous on the internet. I wasn’t committing crimes or anything, but I felt I couldn’t really say what I wanted in the way I wanted if I had to fear reprisals In Real Life. It didn’t last long, as I was outed by the CBC and really, anyone with half a brain and an internet connection could have figured it out. And in the end, I went to a job that didn’t give a shit and once my mom knew who I was, I really didn’t give a fuck anymore. But I was not a Justice Department employee or a lone Syrian dissident who needs anonymity to keep their job, or their life. Anonymity isn’t just a by-product of the internet, it’s a necessary element thereof.

Fuck Dean Del Mastro.

Will you agree (anonymously) in the comments?

[Ed.’s note 1: an old-fashioned FHF lap dance to moeman (site possibly NSFW) for the tip]

[Ed.’s note 2: to readers who don’t know my online history, Allen and HabsFan29 are in fact both me. But you figured that out already, I’m sure.]

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23 Responses to Dean Del Mastro is a f*cking moron – by HabsFan29

  1. HF10 says:

    That dude needs to change his name. If I was named Dean I’d be furious that such a fucking idiot shared my name. Glad he’s not named HF10 Del Mastro.

    Also, fuck Gary Bettman. And Jeremy Jacobs.

  2. Hadulf - the anonymous one says:

    Heh. What’s a matta you? See that right hand of his? El Mastro-bator, muchos grande, <3 Harper!

    Sorry…brain cramp.

  3. steve says:

    As a longtime fan of QP I have been witness to the Dean. I find your description of him somewhat lacking clarity. He is adipose, rancidly buttery, butyraceous, creamy, lardy, Santorum lubricated, lubricative, lubricous, lustrous sewage, oil-soaked, oiled, oleaginous, turd polished, rhetoric rich, saponaceous, slippery, smeary, smooth, fart soapy, shit swimming, unctuous, and slimy waxy.
    What the Conturds hope to achieve by forcing peer review of freedom of expression is suppression of dissent. People are less likely to run into the middle of the street and shout the Emperor has no clothes, than to enter an anonymous opinion that he has plastic hair. Similarly if the reality created by the government is completely detached from the reality of reality, anonymous serfs can gather in electronic hovels and rant and reinforce the prybar of discovery that can breach the walls of created facts. Its a hassle to track down all the little people and hassle them if you have to do all that geek detective work. People who identify themselves are far less likely to opine about important topics like war and peace if the man can effortlessly embarrass or prostrate them.
    As with all the stupid control measures the neo libertarians want to use to free us from freedom, the real violators will prosper by being more clever or when desperate good old fashion corruption. Wikileaks and Anonymous are the greatest things to prod civilization forward since the French Revolution; I hope the transition is less bloody and mindless this time around.

  4. Juce says:

    FYB
    FYNHL.
    FYDDM
    Fuck the Conservatives.
    Allen and HF29 is the same guy? Awesome!

  5. Kmaxxx says:

    I’ve never heard of this Del Maestro guy but he does sound like a complete dickwad. Another politician with too much time on his hands and no clue about what to do with it….hey – Hang on a second…what’s this about Clark Kent…No way!!

  6. steve says:

    I am celebrating one of the greatest victories in the history of civilization by refusing to think. But there is food for thought.
    http://www.wired.com/threatlevel/2012/11/megaupload-data-what-to-do/

  7. Jane says:

    I once bought 2 vehicles from Fat Boy Del Fatso… There he was behind his desk filling his face with a chocolate glazed donut, which it looked like he had eaten half the box already… When I asked him a question, it to him a bit of time to reply because his mouth was stuffed full… When he did reply he was hardly understandable because he was talking with his mouth half full… It didn’t really matter what he said anyways because what comes out of Fat Boys mouth is B.S. anyways.. Just like the airport expansion… People of PTBO should really wake up to the real reason why they are doing that for flying colors… While Del Fatso has his head shoved up Harpo’s arse, I invite you of PTBO to sit outside of the airport and examine them very closely… Just look up and you will see… That is what your Fat Boy does for the community besides make Robo Calls to you… So look up and wake up all of you Peterborians… Before it is too late… Thanks a lot Fat Boy for putting the Fck.. To Us All..

  8. Jane says:

    Please do not make fun of Dean Del Mastro.
    I really like him. It does not matter that there are some people that think he is this and that. Everyone has their own reservations about different people. I don’t like it when people say things about people when they havn’t even taken time to find the real truth about someone.
    It totally disgusts me that a few can say such things about a person.

    But, in this case case it it totally true that this guy named Dean Del Fatso is a Piggish looking person.

    Just look at him when the picture where he was going to court with his Pink shirt on……

    A Pig is Pink

    Dean is very Piggish

    Truth Be Told

  9. Sonja D. says:

    Being a Hab’s Fan myself I really wonder why the Big Hype is on this Del Mastro Guy. I heard all about the Robo Call stuff on the news. What is this guy thinking? Does he think people out there are really that stupid? I live just outside of T.O. Here we have not been experiencing Robo calls per say. Not that I am aware of anyways. I have saw pictures of Del Mastro and saw him on the news. Maybe people in Peterborough should go to his office and drop their bags of Dog Doo on his doorstep. Just walk your dog by his office and deposit it there! He sounds like he dish’s out a lot of crap.
    Why not give some back to him.
    He looks like a Big Baby from what I have saw of him.
    Stand up for your rights Peterbough.
    It sounds like this Guy needs to go.

  10. Jenny C. says:

    Wow I was looking for Fat Boy Donuts on Google and this site came up. Then I read this. I started to do some research. This guy called Dean Del Fatstro is a bad one. Too be honest I think he should go to jail and be locked up for some time. Amazing that he is still in the Government. What a shame that there are representatives that try to pull off such pranks as he does. Very Very sadining indeed. He needs to go away for a long time. Locked up without a Key.

  11. Jenny C. says:

    Del Mastro Donut’s
    Excuse me

    Is not that a fat thing

    Stop it !!!!!

    Enough Donut’s for me !!!!!

    I’m fat enough!!!!

  12. Jenny C. says:

    To be or not to be. I will be straight up. I have no problem with this IP address Sht. It does not bother me at all. The only Sht I have a problem with is this Fatso Sht.

    This piece of Dog Moop has some Magical stuff up his butt.

    C’mon

    Harpy’s side kick

    Bull Sht Bafflel’s Brain’s

    What is up his Butt ?

    Must be a Magical Butt

    Eh!!!

  13. Jenny C. says:

    Remember that Show called Jabber Walky
    Something like that. Well dean should like that when he goes to Jail.
    Jabber Walkie

    Jabbing up the Butt just like the Movie

    Ouch!!!!!!

  14. Jenny C. says:

    Oops… Correction… Show is Called Jabberwocky. Close enough though. Looks like a Bunch of Demons in that show running around with Jabber sticks. Fatsro looks like a Demon. He will feel right at home in jail if he goes there. They love Big Babies there.
    Jabberwocky Demons running around with Jabbersticks. Do they serve Donut’s there I wonder.

  15. Gabriel says:

    What are Robo Calls? Never heard of them before. Are they robot’s calling people. What does this guy get into trouble for so much. If he does go to Jail and his friends go to visit him do you think it would be a nice Jesture to bring him a Box of Donuts to make him Happy? He looks a bit Pudgy in his pictures. Maybe he will lose some weight and stop trying to throw his weight around. I watched a few video’s of him and he is funny. Really sounds like an infant that just lost his soother.
    Maybe the “Tub of Lard” should be put away for his misfortunes that he has made

  16. Gordy says:

    Fatstro Del Castro could start his own Donut Shop. Call it Fat Boy Donuts. Probably wouldn’t make any money though. All his profits would be eaten up.

  17. Jane says:

    What a Fat Fck. Eat lots of Donuts and be Happy locked up you Fat Cry Baby

  18. Jane says:

    I wonder how Kelly is feeling?

    Most likely Shamed!!!!!

    She will stand by her man though.

    Bring Dean Donuts in Jail.

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